Lesson #6

Lesson #6 - Nothing in Hockey is Free but it’s the cost that teaches you the most

One of my greatest challenges as a mom is watching my children go through any kind of struggle. My first reaction is to want to jump in and fix it for them. I'm sure if you ask any parent most would say they feel the same. After my son was done playing minor hockey I realized just how much the struggles in hockey had taught him. I realized that everything he's learned would be incredible life lessons that would carry him into adulthood.

There were many moments that I got caught up in the dream, the hope of him making it to the next level, "the rewards" of being an elite player. Reflecting back, I realized that what I thought was "the reward" was all wrong. What I learned was that the reward from playing hockey was the young man that came out of all those experiences; this young, articulate man who could now go into any job interview and hold his head up with confidence and know how to conduct himself. The reward was that if he didn't get the job, he'd be able to look the employer in the face, shake their hand and thank them for the experience. We didn't teach him that, hockey did. Throughout every tryout and being cut, through every great save and bad goal, he learned how to succeed and how to live with disappointment gracefully. You don't learn that by not facing adversity as you grow up.

The lesson six (6) from Lessons from Behind the Glass it reads:

"There is a lot to be said for repeatedly being knocked down and having to get yourself back up. I knew that in my son's life there would be times that he wouldn't get jobs he applied for, he'd have his heart broken at some point and he'd face more cuts if he was going to continue moving forward with hockey. Because of all he faced in hockey I could see that he was learning to handle disappointments with resilience. He was growing up and when given opportunities I knew he'd make the most of them. You can't teach that kind of life lesson. It was brutal to watch, but I can say now that I look back I'm thankful for all he went through."

I don't know if I can say I'll ever get used to watching my children struggle through anything. What I do know is that they have their whole lives ahead of them so let's help prepare them for adulthood. I hate to tell you this, but you won't be able to go into their university or college to fight for a better mark if they fail a test. You can't go into their place of employment and get them a raise either, so don’t be the parent that goes after the coach if they don’t pick your child for a team. It doesn’t help your young player if you are more disappointed than they are. Teach them how to be resilient now; allowing them to face adversity will offer them a gift of strength that will help them grow into strong adults. As the lesson says, "Nothing in hockey is free, but it's the cost that teaches you the most!"

Click here for video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fCb9jR6yeo

Written by Allyson Tufts

Author, Speaker and Passionate Hockey Mom

Stay tuned for the next video in the series, “Enjoy the ride-the game will be over before you know it.”

If you’d like to learn more about the series or if you’d like to purchase a book go to www.lessonsfrombehindtheglass.com.

Under-13 Female Winter Showcase 2018

December 28th & 29th 2018
Moncton, NB (Superior Propane Centre)

HNB and the Female Commission would like to extend this invitation to all our Peewee Female players that are currently registered with HNB. After last year’s successful turn, out we are happy to offer this once again to allow our young female players the opportunity to meet and play will other females from around the province at this jamboree style format.

This year we will be running the showcase a little differently as we will be offering a practice time that will be run by some of the best- and well-known female coaches, (Troy Ryan, Hockey Canada Assistant Coach Women’s National Team) we have to offer in our region. This 2-day event will also include a double header and we are also working on putting on a seminar for the parents and players on the Friday evening.

The cost for this year’s event will be $100/player and we will be taking the first 60 players and 6 goalies to take part in a 1.5hr Practice, 2 Games and a HNB Jersey.

Registration Links:

Forwards – Click Here

Defence – Click Here

Goalies – Click Here

If you have any questions please let one of us know by email,

Darren Gallen                                                                Jason Lyons

Female Development Coordinator                                Elite Hockey Female Coordinator

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HNB to host all-female coach clinic in Fredericton and Moncton

Are you a female coach that requires coaching certification for the 2018-2019 season?  Are you a high school or university female hockey player that would like to get into coaching?

Hockey New Brunswick will be offering a free, Female Only coach clinics in Fredericton and Moncton.  The clinic will consist of an in-class session for Coach 2, as well as a 1 Hour on ice session.

The dates are as listed below:

  • Fredericton: December 8th, Class session 3:00 pm - 4:30 pm, On ice session 4:30 pm - 5:30 pm at the Grant Harvey Centre.
  • Moncton: December 9th, Class session 10:30 am - 12:00 pm, On Ice session 12:00 pm – 1:00 pm at the Moncton Superior Propane Centre (Rink A).

For more information or to register, please contact Matt Vautour, Coordinator of Technical Programs at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Goalie Coach Clinics to be held in Petit Rocher, Fredericton and Moncton...

Registration is now open for Hockey Canada Goaltending Coach Level 1 Clinics

Attention coaches!

Registration is now open for the Hockey Canada Goaltending Level 1 Clinic that will be held in three separate locations.

Petit Rocher - Wednesday, November 28th. 5:30-6:30 in class session at Domaine Etudiant School Amphitheatre. On Ice session from 6:45-7:45.

Fredericton - Saturday, November 24th. In class session from 4:00-5:00. On ice session from5:15-6:45 at the Wille O’ Ree Place

Moncton - Wednesday November 28th. In Class Session at the Moncton Operational Centre 6:00-7:00pm. On Ice session at 7:30 at the Moncton Superior Propane Centre

There is no cost to this event, and open to any coach looking for more information and drills on goaltending instruction.

For more information or to register, please contact:

Matt Vautour 
Coordinator of Technical Programs
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